Balancing Giving & Receiving

Are you the go-to friend and family member who helps with…anything and everything? Are you the one that people always rely on?

If so, I bet people around you love this about you, but I am sure it also becomes incredibly draining at times. There may be a part of you that enjoys being able to be such a contribution, as the one who is always there to help, but step back and check in with yourself:

  • Are others showing up for you equally?
  • How are you at receiving and asking for help?
  • Are you over-identifying as the caretaker for others?
  • Have you made it your responsibility to be there for everyone around you?
  • Are you setting and enforcing healthy boundaries for yourself?
  • Do others respect your time and space?
  • By playing this role, does it allow you to not show up completely and authentically?
  • Is this possibly a way to avoid making yourself vulnerable and admitting that you also need help sometimes?
  • Is there some piece of this that connects to your self worth and are you possibly feeling like you don’t deserve reciprocity in your relationships?

If we don’t address this, it can start to feel like we’re attracting takers, feeling depleted and resenting others. Sometimes people wind up feeling unequal in their relationships; they may be giving everything at work and not receiving credit where it’s due; or it may be that friends are always looking for support, but never there when you need it.

It is important to understand why we may find ourselves in this pattern via asking introspective questions and taking an honest look at ourselves. Then, we can find healthful solutions to set boundaries and to become comfortable with a new standard for ourselves; to allow more space for reciprocal relations, time for ourselves, saying no, etc. It is possible to do this work and through doing it, improve all areas of your life.